Teachings of the river

In preparation to enter into deep ceremonial space, I visited the river, like I usually do when I need to ground and center. The tide was high after last week’s heavy rainfall, and I found myself transfixed by her flow. Even in power, she moves with such grace. At a time when life seemed to be out of control, witnessing water flow felt like the most grounding thing I could do.

“Grace” was what kept coming to me. Grace lives in surrender; that is her home. She gives herself fully, in complete and total trust. I feel this is what moves us most deeply about her. To me, grace feels like a mixture of sadness and beauty and majesty…

This morning, I woke up to a message notifying me that the ceremony has been postponed…for the second time this week. I hit my car two days after I drove it off the lot. Oasis has been metamorphosing faster than I can grasp. It feels like there’s been a deep call for surrender, for letting go of the reigns and of perfection. My OCD has been up the last couple of days, as it does before big moments. OCD wants control, perfection.

There is medicine here for me. The river always reminds me.

I closed my eyes for a moment and felt the wind, felt the current of the river, the flight of birds, the dying heat of the setting sun. I felt it all. I was present, aware, connected. I was at Her altar, kneeling in participation and gratitude. My heart open, my arms loose, my gaze soft.

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I pray to always be granted passage to this place

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